Tamama's Christmas Bash-In!
by Mizuzu Pelagos
Summary: Tamama and the other Keronians can't come to Momoka's Christmas party. How will they break in? How about a Christmas play?


**Disclaimer: I do not own Sgt. Frog/Keroro Gunso. All rights belong to Mine Yoshizaki**

 **It took a while to come up with a good Christmas fanfic idea. Hope you like it! Have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Chanukah, a Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy Holidays in general, whatever creed you follow or don't follow!**

* * *

It started out as a normal day for Keroro. A little natto and fish for breakfast, some vacuuming, a quick polish of the windows, and of course, the obligatory Gundam model. Christmas was coming up in about two weeks, and he was thinking about a gift for Fuyuki and Natsumi while playing. For Fuyuki, maybe a ticket to a Ripley's Museum, or maybe some Keronian Tarot cards. Or a new crystal skull to replace the one he broke yesterday. And maybe Giroro would like some WWII-era memorabilia.

In the midst of his thoughts, Keroro heard a faint sniffle. He shrugged it off, as he didn't know who it was. It was probably some nerd who discovered that the last shonen comic at the store was gone and was here to complain to Keroro for buying the last one. "Hmm. Although... I wonder if that's who it really is?" He got up and opened the door to his room. It turns out it was not the whiny nerd: it was Tamama, whose tears and white face made him resemble a Pierrot or some other sad clown. "Sorry, little boy, if you came for some comics, I ain't giving you any. Bye!" Saying that, Keroro shut the door. Less than two seconds later, Tamama started crying. Keroro was unmoved at first, but started to feel sorry for his friend. Keroro also saw Giroro in the same room, polishing his guns. The red frog might shoot Keroro if he doesn't stop this crying. He opened the door again, and asked, "Tamama, what happened to you?"

Tamama sniffled: "I'm not invited!" And then he went back to crying.

"Uh, Tamama, what is it that you weren't invited too?"

"Momocchi is having a big party on Christmas Eve, and I'm not invited! No Keronians allowed! Said it was because I interfered with her plan to smooch Huuki! WAAAAAAAHAAHAAHAA!"

Keroro was confused. "What? But you live with Momoka! Where does she expect you to stay for Christmas? Natsumi's room?"

Tamama still cried. Keroro wasn't sure how to console Tamama, but he really wanted to help, and not just because the cry irritated him and Giroro. Keroro had to use his little brain, and it was hard to do that. After some time, he put his hand on Tamama's shoulder. "Tamama?"

"What?" he sniffed.

"Don't worry, I have a vague idea of how we can solve this conundrum. Quick Tamama, what's going to be at the party?"

"How's that supposed to help?!"

"I think I can figure out a way to hijack us into the party. Now work with me, kiddo. What's going on at the party?"

"Well, there's a fireworks show, there's a lounge band playing music, there's an acrobat... there's... dinner... and cake... WAAAAAUUGH! I CAN'T HAVE THE CAKE! WHYYY MOMOCCHI?! WHYYYYYY?!"

"TAMAMA! STOP CRYING! I'M TRYING TO THINK!" Tamama stopped crying, and Keroro got to work on his idea. "Aha! We could become waiters! A party with dinner always has waiters, so we could injure the waiters, and then take over for them. Then-"

Dororo immediately leapt into the scene. "No! I do not approve of this! Your plot is too violent and obvious! Do something else!"

"Fine." Keroro replied. 'Ugh, Dororo, you are such a buzzkill.' He thought.

"I have a better idea, Keroro."

"Yeah, Doropie?"

"We'll work as jugglers or magicians. People like that, don't they? You can't have too much entertainment at a party."

"Tamama, did Momoka say that there were going to be magicians for the kids?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "there'll be a magic show by a high-profile magician. There's no way we'd be able to compare to him. And if we injure him, his lawyers will be at us like dogs."

"Well that's off the list." Keroro said. And then he had a better idea. "I know, we'll put on a play."

"A play? Are you sure? Wouldn't it be obvious to Momoka?"

"We don't have to talk to Momoka about it. We could just talk to Paul. He-"

"sympathizes with Momoka in her quest for Fuyuki's heart."

Keroro pondered that problem. Then he had another idea. "Why don't we persuade Fuyuki? Then if Momoka objects to us, we could tell her about Fuyuki accepting our plan, and she'll have to invite us!"

Giroro entered the converstation: "Or we could just ask him to get Momoka to invite us to the party. It's easier than the play."

"Sure, but that's too obvious. And Fuyuki will probably think we're about to do another invasion plan."

"Good point. I'm impressed that you even thought of it that quickly. OK, Keroro. I accept your plan."

"Sweet! Okay, Giroro, you design the script and have me in the lead role."

"But you can't act."

"Yeah I can, quite well. I have experience doing war movies, remember? Now follow my orders _before_ I fire you!"

"Yessir!" Giroro said. 'Oh no!' he thought. 'This play's going to suck! Keroro might be getting all the good roles for himself!'

* * *

It was December 12th, at about 12:30pm. Natsumi was wondering what the frogs were up to, again. She had just microwaved some pizza for leftovers, and walked to Keroro's room. "Hey, frog! The pizza's getting cold. It's lunchtime. What are you-"

Keroro, Giroro and Tamama immediately grabbed slices of pizza almost as fast as they had opened the door, and closed the door even faster. "Thankslady-can'tcomerightnow!" was their reply to Natsumi. Natsumi was now more suspicious of them than ever. Maybe they were planning on making her gift. Or maybe they plan on destroying Momoka's house to get money! Or even...giant sea slugs...ugh! Natsumi sneaked into the room, and saw the three at a desk, talking to each other in their native language while munching on pizza and drinking fizzy juice, with Bing Crosby and David Bowie's duet in the background. Natsumi could tell that it had something to do with Christmas because she could hear them say "Khristemass", but apart from that she had no idea what was going on. Natsumi decided to ask them: "Hey frogs, watcha doing?"

This startled the trio, with Giroro falling off the chair and Keroro shouting something she couldn't understand. "Hey frogs! What are you even saying?"

Keroro replied, in Japanese but with an odd accent: "Sorry, Natsumi. We have a tendency to discuss plans in Keronian. We're sorry you're suspicious."

"You aren't using your translator?"

"Yeah! We've actually been training ourselves in several Pekoponian languages using online programs and occasional conversations with Fuyuki and others over the years. How's my Japanese?"

"Quite good. You've got an accent, but when you think about it, everybody does. Now that you mentioned it, I do kinda remember giving Giroro a few lessons. He just normally uses a translator to ease communication. Anyway, what are you doing?"

"Good question. We want to go to Momoka's Christmas party, but we've been banned from it because we get in the way of her attempts to ask Fuyuki out. So, we decided to create a stage play to perform at the party. She'll have to accept us, now."

Natsumi was still a bit uncomfortable, as the Keronians are still invaders, but she decided that maybe they're actually serious this time. "Okay, toad. That's nice. So what's the play about?"

Giroro decided to explain: "We haven't got all the details yet, but it's going to include a couple of angels, Krampus, and me playing a foolish guy. Keroro's the main character, probably Santa Claus."

"One, who's Krampus? Is he a Christmas figure from some other part of the globe? And second, shouldn't someone more talented play the main character?"

"To answer the first question, Krampus is supposed to be some kind of devil guy who travels with German versions of Santa. As for the second one, don't worry, Natsumi! I'm more than capable of this! Now, should there be three angels, or two?"

* * *

It was December 23. The party at Momoka's was one day away, and the folks were getting decorations ready in the foyer. Momoka herself was worried; Fuyuki hasn't talked to her about his invitation yet. Her hopes were up when she saw Fuyuki come through the front door, looking around at all the tinsel (made with real gold and silver!) and statues with actual jewelry instead of the usual rhinestones. She rushed toward him yelling "Fuyuki!" excitedly. He was surprised by seeing her so happy, and she almost tackled him as she came to hug him. "You came! What do you think?"

"Wow, you've got a lot of decorations over here. Is this for the party you were telling me about?"

"Oh YES! And you're the guest of honor! Don't you think this is festive and gorgeous?"

"Yeah. It sure is!"

"Oh, Fuyuki, guess what? Tamama is going to sleep at your house for a couple of nights."

Tamama overheard her voice and was overjoyed. He rushed over to the humans at almost 300000000m/s and said, "Really? I get to sleep at the Sarge's tonight?"

"Knock yourself out, kid."

"Woooohoooo! YAAAAY! I'll get the sleeping bags!" And Tamama sped to his room about as fast as before.

"Thanks, Momoka." Fuyuki said. "Why are you so keen on getting him out of the house?"

Momoka whispered into his ear: "Fuyuki, my man, let's not let Tamama and the other frogs interfere with our friendship. They always ruin our times together."

"Really? I like those wacky frogs."

"No you don't. You're just in denial. They always conspire to sabotage our friendship, and they won't be ruining our time together tomorrow evening. Agreed?"

"Uhhhh...yeah." Fuyuki didn't actually agree, but tried to hide it as best as he could. Little did they know that Tamama was watching this conversation, and he could tell that Fuyuki would rather have Tamama be at the party than not. Then Fuyuki got a phone call from Keroro: "Who is it?"

"Hey, it's Keroro. Listen could you put it on speaker? I've got an idea."

Fuyuki did as he was told, and Keroro spoke again: "Yo Momoka how's it goin'? Listen, I have a brilliant idea: over the past couple of weeks I've been composing a Christmas play while shopping for gifts. It's called The Fifteenth Day of Christmas. What do you think?"

Momoka didn't like where his was going. "Keroro, are you kidding me? You know you're banned from the party, right? Shouldn't you be-"

"A Christmas play by aliens? Cooooool! What's it about?"

As Keroro explained the play, Momoka thought about the situation: 'Hmm. Fuyuki seems keen on this play. Should I risk ruining our date again, working with these fools?' She then picked up the phone and told Keroro "Okay, I accept your plan and I'm lifting the ban. Just don't let Tamama in the party." Tamama was crushed when he heard this. And it was at this precise moment that he saw Keroro in another room, using his cell phone for the call.

"What? Tamama not in the play? But he has a key role in it! We need him!"

"I don't care, just find another actor, okay?"

"Fine! Just don't except the result to be as good as before, _okay?"_ Keroro whispered to Tamama: "I'm not following her orders. I don't care how much she wants to kill me."

Tamama now had tears of joy: his Sargeant was so kind! "Thanks! You're the be- OH MY GAWD MOMOKA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"I'LL _**KILL YOU!"**_ Momoka's blood was boiling, and the frogs ran away faster than Tamama did earlier today... but still not at the speed of light.

* * *

It was 3pm on Christmas Eve. Natsumi, Koyuki, Fuyuki and Angol Mois were walking on the snowy sidewalk to the Nishzawa mansion. It was very cold, but the party would be indoors, so it was no big deal. As they were talking about the party, their lack of homework, and the occasional weird thought about Christmas ("What if Santa has a universal translator manufactured by the frogs? Is he in cahoots with Keron?"), Koyuki asked "Where's Keroro?"

Fuyuki sighed. "He might not be coming to the party."

"Why?"

"Momoka is worried that Keroro and his platoon would ruin the party with another invasion plan. He only said that he wrote a Christmas play."

"What if the play is a cover for something else, something stupider?" Natsumi asked.

"I dunno. The Sarge and his friends only seemed concerned to get into the party."

"Hmmm. Then again, if they were planning something evil, they probably wouldn't do it Christmas Eve. I'm sure the toad would prefer to get his gift first."

As she spoke, Natsumi opened the door to the mansion. Momoka warmly greeted them: "Welcome to the party! *gasp* Fuyuki! You came! Come in! I've got some great appetizers for all of you!"

As Fuyuki and the gang were eating, Momoka and Paul gave out some news: "Guess what? DJ Mutsumi is coming over for a surprise show just for us!"

Natsumi gasped with joy: "OMGOMGOMG! He's here? Pinch me!"

Angol Mois secretly knew what was actually going on, but acted like she didn't. "I know, Natsumi! Mutsumi called me, saying that he's going to read your poetry."

"AAAAAAAH! I'm in heaven! This is the greatest party ever! Thanks Momoka!"

"Oh, you're welcome!" Momoka was secretly confused: she didn't know about DJ Mutsumi coming here.

Meanwhile, Angol Mois secretly walked backstage to Saburo, where the play would be held. "Thanks for working with us to get Tamama into the party! Just read the announcement, sit back, and enjoy the show!"

* * *

The guests of honor retreated to a small theater, where they sat down for the surprise live show by Saburo. However when they got there and the lights dimmed, Saburo didn't come: all they got was a speaker with his voice. "Hey guys, what's up? DJ Mutsumi here. Sorry, I can't come tonight. I've got another show to do at Kobe. However, I contacted Paul and we have a great backup show tonight, by a local acting troupe called The Tokyo Newcomer Performers Troupe, with DJ Kool Ulu and keyboard goddess Ang Gu Mua providing the soundtrack live. Ladies and Gentlemen: The 15th Day of Christmas! Their debut production!"

"Wait a minute... DJ...Kululu? Oh crud! It's the Frogs!"

The curtains opened, and amazingly Momoka _didn't_ get up on stage to kill the actors. She was too numb with horror. On stage right, there stood Giroro, dressed up in a green, brown and yellow plaid shirt with khaki pants, looking around. He said to himself, "Let's see, is this where this Nick person is supposed to meet me?"

All of the sudden, the synthesized horns blasted at an annoyingly loud level, and three Keronians on a chariot entered the scene from stage left. It was Keroro, dressed magnificently as St. Nicholas, with Dororo and Pururu flanked at either side dressed as angels. Keroro stepped down from the chariot, and showed off his (bad) acting skills: "Greetings, Mr. Bulldops, I am glad-eth to see thou!"

"Are you S-s-s-Saint Nicholas?"

"No my plebian swine. I am the Santa Claus XV incarnate, the ruler of the Finnish North Pole."

"I never heard of you." [At this point the humans are starting to get disappointed in the play]

"Of course you haven't. Let me show you my power!" And with a wave of his hands, a fire appeared (via blowtorches), and they went off with another wave.

"Whoah! That's cool!" Giroro replied, with acting almost as bad as Keroro's.

"Silence, you fool! Angel #32 [Dororo], declare my declaration."

Dororo got up and read a scroll: "I, Santa Claus XV, challenge Mr. Archie Bulldops to a contest for his bad behavior toward my statue."

"What idol?"

"Silence! You must send out your best man to show off his skills."

"Uhh.. okay.. yo Pete, show off your kung fu!"

Suddenly, Garuru ran onto the stage, and performed fake kung fu to amuse the audience. He was failing, badly. Keroro decided to give Pururu some stage commands to attack him. "Oh Angel #31 [Pururu], release th-"

He was cut off by a random explosion, and, to his horror and confusion, a pair of Vipers appeared. One of them scowled to him, and pointed his arm cannon to Keroro's face: "Little runt, get off the stage, or we will shoot you!"

"Okay!" Keroro gulped. He and the Keronians did as they were told, and sat down in the audience chairs. Natsumi seemed ready to strangle Keroro to death when the other Viper made an announcement:

"Attention, Pekopenians, We are sorry for the inconvenience. Unless you want to see death tonight, it is time for the scheduled Christmas concert."

"What Christmas concert? I didn't schedule one." Momoka said. Then it clicked: "Hang on. Aren't you the Vipers from the Halloween fanfic?"

"Silence! This is our first hipmetalcore Christmas concert!"

"What's hipmetalcore?" Mois asked. And a cheesy synth line and drum beat started in the background, thanks to a third Viper nobody but Kululu noticed. Then the Vipers started screamed a little, and one of them sang ( **the other's going to scream** ):

" _Yeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh!_

 _Welcome to the Christmas_

 _concert with the Vipers_

 _Jingle bells, jingle Vipers_

 _Turkey in the oven!_

 _Mistletoe in the dance club_

 _presents on the dance floor_

 ** _COME ON GET THIS CHRISTMAS STARTED_**

 ** _COME AND BE MY LOVE-OR!_**

 ** _AAAAAGH!_** _Let's get partyin'._

 _Time to Christmas yourself up!_

 ** _AAAAAGH!_** _Decorate the tr-"_

Suddenly, Tamama leapt up from stage left, dressed up as a cute angel. Tamama attacked the Vipers, and Kululu turned the backing track off. The audience applauded, but Keroro was confused: "Wait a minute, you're supposed to play a clown. Why are you dressed as Angel #42?"

"I know, I'm just here to make announcements for you-know-who."

An explosion came up the stage, and a demonic-looking figure stepped up to the audience: it was Zoruru, without his mask, in a frightening Krampus costume. The Vipers were frightened by this horned creature, with his metal claw, polished white fangs, glowing red eyes, and a pair of large bat wings. Zoruru snatched a microphone from he Vipers, and spoke in a gravely, snarly voice: "Everyone, I am the great Krampus. And I am here to punish ye Vipers for cutting the play short. Ye sick mortals, crashing the party for the world's worst concert ever! Have ye not heard of an invitation? **_Geeet out! I'm ready to destroy you all! Minor Angel #42! Get the Tamama Impact Ready!_** _"_

Tamama was getting his beams ready. The Vipers were now stiff with fear, and left the stage. The crowd went wild, and Momoka actually seemed happy this time. She rushed up to hug Tamama. "I'm sorry, Tamama. I didn't know you really did care."

"Thanks! I forgive you. Does that mean I can actually come to the party now?"

"Why, yes... except that was a mean way to sneak into the party. What kind of guy lies to people about a celebrity radio host and puts on a cruddy play to get in?"

"Keroro and I had to think of _something_!"

Fuyuki decided to brighten up the mood: "Why don't we get some dinner to hold us until the cake is ready. Wanna come?"

"Yaaaaaaaay! It's almost time for cake!" Tamama exclaimed. And so, everyone rejoiced and went off into the dining hall... well, everyone except Zoruru. He was just standing in the corner, when Tamama noticed that he wasn't coming. He walked up and asked "Are you coming? They'd probably like the company."

Zoruru shot him a mean glance. "Why join in with a bunch of happy-clappy idiots like you? You're all too cutesy. I'm an assassin. I'm not supposed to be a part of this crap. I need to kill Zeroro."

"Oh come on, Zoruru. You can't be like this all the time! And you're not even one of those 'Christmas is too commercial' types, anyway. Come on, dude! Have fun with us!" Tamama was tightly hugging poor Zoruru as he was talking. Zoruru could only think about Tamama's cuteness and how he was already sick of it. Tamama continued, "Now let's go! Take your mind off Zeroro for once!"

"GET OFF ME! And besides, that Christmas play was so corny and kitschy. Hmph! It was horrible all around!" Zoruru said, walking away.

"Really? Because I thought you were **awesome!** You played Krampus with so much panache!"

Zoruru stopped in his tracks, then scowled at Tamama again. "Shut up, you lying brat! Not even Karara was this annoying and babyish!"

"But I'm not kidding about your acting at all! You did great! Come on! We've got cake to eat!" Tamama grabbed Zoruru, and this time Zoruru said nothing. And so they went to the dining room for some cake!

 **And they all had a happy holiday!**


End file.
